Humiliation and the Psychological Effects in a M/s Relationship

All M/s and D/s relationships are different and tailored to each couple who chose this lifestyle. There is no wrong or right in my opinion. What one slave or submissive might find humiliating vs the other differs a great deal or effects them differently psychologically. Some crave humiliation some do not. Some say it is damaging to a relationship and some says it improves it in the capacity to serve as a slave or submissive within a M/s relationship. In my case I not only desire it but I believe it helps me stay in my mindset as a 24/7 slave.

From my perspective in society the man traditionally has been tagged with many roles not only regarding himself but at work and family. Just to name a few these are as follows.

  1. Men are expected to be the provider for the family
  2. Men are supposed to be the head of the household and make decisions for all
  3. Men are suppose to be a role model and inspiration to the family
  4. Men are expected to always be masculin and strong and never show weakness

These expectations I believe can become very tiresome and stressful. When push comes to shove, I gladly accept all of these expectations proudly but then again, for a submissive or slave I believe that some of them have to be set aside but also never forgotten at times to allow for a successful D/s or M/s relationship.

One of the desires I have as a slave serving my Mistress is to FEEL like a slave and humiliation is just one tool that can be used on me as a constant reminder of my place and who I am without ever throwing away my responsibilities as a man.

I believe when a Mistress treats and talks to their slaves in a way that goes against societies norms and expectations as a “man” or makes him do things against the norm it is a very powerful resource to them. After all, at least from my perspective, I crave to feel being a lessor to her. I crave feeling, I guess, a little less manly. I crave the verbal degradation and verbally addressing her as Ma’am. I crave her correcting me verbally to show her respect by saying yes or no Ma’am or thank you Ma’am. Simply put, it puts me in my place where I desire to be be 24/7 with her. Most importantly though it is ONLY with her I crave these things and as far as with anyone else in life I believe I am the stereotypical man and have no desire to be anything less.

I think we all desire, crave and think of things in different ways and none of them are wrong. What might humiliate one person the next wouldn’t even bat an eye at. In the beginning I used to ask myself, why do I crave this or that, why do I want to do this or that and why does this make me feel good? I have come to the conclusion that, who cares? As long as I am not hurting anyone or doing anything illegal, why not? We are all different and I am who I am. I’m me! My train of thought might not match up with societies norms. I might find different things exciting or like to push the envelope from time to time or even find comfort in my kinks but it is who I am and unfortunately, or fortunately, however you look at things, I can’t change that.

There are many forms of humiliation that are available to use by Dominants but before using them I would highly recommend discussing them with your sub or slave to make sure they are not beyond their limits they have set. Some of the various humiliations that a slave or sub might find humiliating in doing are as follows with my personal opinion on a scale of 1-10 of how much it affects me, with 10 sending me to the ultimate subspace and 1 being very little, but also keep in mind, what one person finds humiliating the next might not.

Pegging i.e. Using a strap on with your slave. To me, this is the ultimate in domination of a male slave or sub. It strongly goes against societies norms plus a lot of people feel if a man enjoys it he is gay. Again going back to societies norm, isn’t it a part of the norm in solicited thinking that a man mounts his woman and has sex hence showing his dominance over her? To me this is the most powerful and immasculating thing a woman can do to a man. It, in my mind, shows that she is 100% in control of her male, because no “normal” man the way society sees things would let his female partner do this, right? And if he did then I guess he would be labeled as nothing more than a sissy and not a real man. Well here’s an alert! It is becoming more acceptable and more people in heterosexual relationships are doing it now! As a slave it sends me deep down into subspace, it is humiliating, and it feels good! I feel 100% under her control and at peace with the world while in the act. I will say however the thought of a real man doing this to me is both disgusting and it will NEVER happen. I have absolutely zero desire to be with the same sex. Humiliation scale I give this a 10. Unfortunately though as far as it sends me into subspace the feeling only last a few hours.

Giving a dildo a blowjob is another thing I find very humiliating. Although I have little experience in doing this, I have a couple times dropped to my knees and done it. This ranks really close to pegging for me. As a man there is nothing more I would love when not in a M/s relationship is to push a woman’s head down on my cock and tell her to suck it. When the tables are turned however on me I find it very humiliating, degrading, dirty, and I guess slutty. This also can be intensified greatly by the dominant degrading you while your doing it by calling you names such as dirty whore or bitch etc and also forcing your head down on it making you take it deep inside your mouth. Humiliation scale a 7 and again unfortunately the feeling only last a couple hours.

Demands of you address her as Ma’am or Mistress whenever you can is also mildly humiliating but very effective in reminding you of your place beneath her. Humiliation scale for me 2 but if she is consistent I would think long lasting until she were to stop demanding it.

Wearing female clothing/cross dressing is another humiliation that is very popular in the lifestyle. Some called it forced feminization but come on, let’s be real, nobody can force you to wear certain clothing. You either do it because you have a desire and want to and or your dominant tells you to, but there is always a choice. This one in my opinion for me at least, is the best overall and longest lasting one.

Again, society would think your either gay , sissy or both in the normal realm but to me it is very humiliating and last for however long I am wearing the article of clothing and most importantly a constant reminder of my place until I remove it and damn it women’s panties at least are made out of material that feels good and are so much more comfortable then men’s underwear. I have also tried hose before and honestly I LOVED the way they feel so I have little sympathy for women that complain about them lol. Bras no real experience with but would love to graduate to them also because I think that is another thing that can be worn under male clothing and hide.

I would love to wake up in the morning and go take a shower and it just be a normal thing that my Mistress has laid out her choice of bra and panties to wear for the day. I would be in subspace all day. I really don’t have a desire now to get all dressed up and go out in public in a skirt and heels but wearing personal undergarments in a stealthy way I do find humiliating, exciting, helpful in reminding me of my place and to where most forms of humiliation are temporary, while being done, this is the easiest to do with the longest effect.

I have mentioned to my Mistress I would also love to buy some vanilla looking women’s jeans and start wearing them. Hell no one would know but her and I and from accidentally putting on a pair of hers one time they seem like they would be very comfortable. I however think this form of humiliation is past the limit for most women though because of the emasculation thing I guess so it would take a very open minded woman to go along with this and support it but again, in my humble opinion if a Mistress is wanting the best option for always keeping her slave in his place this is by far the best option. Humiliation factor 5 but by far the best out of any if the slave wears them 24/7.

Foot worship. A lot of people have a special thing for this also and find it humiliating. I really have no desire for this except I do very much enjoy kneeling at my Mistress’s feet and kissing them followed by a long hug and removing and putting away her shoes. I don’t find this humiliating at all in fact I find this to be an honor. It makes me feel very blessed to be on my knees before such a beautiful Goddess and while hugging her I feel love from her and 100% the sense of comfort and that I’m cared for. So 0 on the humiliation scale but 10 on the I’m lucky scale!

Leash and collar is another popular humiliation. I also love this however little experience. In times I have had this done it elevated my thoughts of my Mistress as my owner and me her pet. I wish that every time we were intimate I could wear these. Very strong tool in my opinion of the Mistress asserting her ownership. Humiliation factor 6 short term only while wearing it.

Asserting her dominance over a slave in public is another that is a good one. When my Mistress tells me to do something in a way it sounds like an order in front of the public or verbally tells people I like her to control me it is not only very humiliating but embarrassing also, especially when it’s done with other men around. I love this, but it also at times is uncomfortable but very powerful. It not only puts me in my place with her but also let’s others know she is the one in charge. Humiliation factor 10 but only for the moment.

For me and many alike the one thing a slave strives for is the feeling of being under the control of his Mistress and humiliation although not for everyone is not only a powerful tool at her disposal but a constant reminder to me of my place in our relationship and frankly I can’t get enough. When done in a stealthy way it is a great way to put me in my place and remind me of my sacred bound I have agreed to with my Mistress. I also trust her 100% that she will never do anything to cause me harm in anyway and put no limitations on her in this manner and welcome all that she gives to me knowing it is done with love and thoughtfulness for my desires.

Slave m

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