Although I consider myself a slave and strive very hard for what I feel is the perfect life in serving my Goddess, I myself refuse to be walked on or taken advantage of in any way by anyone including my Goddess. However if I am in the wrong, and I am 100% confident I am and will be often then I deserve to be held accountable by my Goddess. This leads me to the following, Is corporal punishment a necessity, kink, abuse or even necessary at all in a M/s or D/s relationship
First I would like to touch upon the people that say that you shouldn’t have to punish in a M/s relationship dynamic. Their logic I always read is that since slavery today is unlawful and the people that have chosen to be in a M/s relationship as a slave is consensual hence if he as a slave doesn’t do what he is told of fulfill the wishes of his Dominant then he really must not want this type of relationship or want to serve. He should do everything willingly without regards to his own wishes no matter if he wants to or not. To me, this isn’t a slave or submissive or even a man, this is a doormat for dominants to walk all over and take advantage of.
I call 100% bullshit on that line of thinking. I’m guessing these are the same people letting their kids grow up without punishing them, allowing them to do what they want with no regards for respect of their elders or anyone else. Or they were the ones brought up like that and never experienced a good paddling on the ass and the reminder and fear it puts in your mind that you will do anything and everything to avoid getting another, which means doing what your told at all times and showing due respect to those who are worthy.
To me, being a slave to my Goddess is a lifestyle choice that brings us much closer and is very special and makes both her and I much happier and yes, I do it voluntarily due to it is what I desire. All of this results in us having what 99% of vanilla couples don’t have, closeness, trust, a more organized family life due to roles and duties being more defined and truly has cut down on probably 95% of any arguing between us due to our own clear defined roles. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a voice or opinion in things because if we disagree on something I’m very passionate about we have agreed to disagree, but due to the fact we have been together for 10 years, she already knows our differences. Which goes to show, even though I am the slave and have welcomed that position openly, I am no doormat either. There is a difference between serving and being obedient vs being a doormat.
So, is punishment a necessity in a 24/7 M/s relationship? Hell yes! 100% Yes! It not only is a necessity it is one of the most (in my humble opinion) important parts of a foundation a true M/s relationship should be built upon. Without punishment a true M/s relationship is not even close to possible it is nothing more than play acting.
First, there are certain aspects and traits a couple must have to enter into a true 24/7 M/s loving consensual relationship that will last forever.
- Above and beyond everything TRUST!
- Open communication without judgement
- Clearly defined roles as far as who is in charge and who is the slave
- The strong desire, motivation and commitment to the lifestyle
- Defined rules and expectations agreed upon from each other
- Clear vision of where the M/s relationship needs to go
There are certain things I as a slave desire with all my heart from my Goddess which in my mind clearly defines my idea of the perfect life as a slave.
- Above and beyond anything, control!
- Openness to new ideas
- Respect, yes respect. I might be her slave but I am still human and all humans deserve some form of respect
- Consistency & Direction
- Being held accountable for my actions with Discipline/Punishment
- Clearly defined expectations
- Clearly defined rules
- Her love and loyalty
I think my Goddess have a very good idea of who I am inside me and how I think and process everything in life therefore I trust her to make decisions over me and have handed over to her all authority over me. But, this agreement is between her and I only and not her and I and any third party whether it be friend or family. I look for her to take control of me 100% and give direction to me in our day to day lives and honestly as a comparison it’s almost in many ways like the relationship between a parent and their child. One thing I do take serious is my commitment and the different aspects of the lifestyle we have agreed to. Without CONTROL there is no M/s lifestyle and without being held accountable for misdeeds by utilizing PUNISHMENT there is no CONTROL hence resulting in nothing more than play acting.
As a child I was spanked, and spanked a lot, but one thing spankings taught me is that I never reoffended again the same transgressions. Spanking puts fear inside a person and it really believe it doesn’t matter what age you are, nobody likes a real punishment spanking. I know there are masochist out there that might enjoy them and I admit I am a masochist to a certain extent but that certain extent is mild and I mean very mild. The idea of being spanked does turn me on and my Goddess has done it but after 2 or 3 swats it just isn’t a turn on anymore, it simply hurts and is not enjoyable in any way.
One of my goals as her slave is to continually grow in my service to her and if I screw up, disobey, show her disrespect in any way or simply fail to follow her direction I expect to be punished. After all its what we agreed on also! I have no desire to receive a spanking, but if deserved I expect it. I expect her to turn me over her knee and administer punishment and do it without regard of me begging to stop because it hurts or feeling sorry for me. I do expect her to administer a good amount of swats not just a couple two or three, but to administer a good spanking that would cause me great pain making my eyes water or tear up. The effects of a good spanking are very strong psychologically at least for me.
Why do I desire this?
- It shows she gives a damn about me, that’s why!
- It shows she cares about my desire to serve her.
- It shows that she cares about helping me become a better slave so that I can serve her better.
- It shows that she not only has the same desire to control me but she DOES control me.
- It shows her power over me.
- It demands my respect in her power.
- It instills fear inside me which results in me not committing the same transgressions.
- I get to express my feelings of regret and being sorry in humility
- She gets to release her feelings of frustrations and anger towards me
- Once punished its over and we BOTH move on from the transgression without harboring any ill feeling towards each other
There are plenty forms of punishment that a dominant can administer other than just spankings and you can find all types of suggestions online line which many I think are just pure stupid or just a kink someone wants to fulfill. Punishment is really anything one might find unpleasant so it really could be anything. What one might find unpleasant the next might enjoy. For me I guess after looking at many list the ones I would consider realistic punishments would include the following.
- Mouth washing
- Being locked up in my cage for a specific amount of time while everyone is up and doing things or while they go somewhere fun
- Being ordered to my knees, told to shut up and lectured and then made to apologize
- Corner time alone
- A quick slap across the face if alone
- Restriction in something I enjoy
- Extra chores
- Being locked up in my chastity cage for a prolonged time and not being able to ask or know how long
- Being locked in my cage over night in a different room.
Punishment is one aspect of a loving M/s relationship I think is a difficult area to enforce for many reasons. The Dominant often looks at it as “hurting” their partner/slave and we have been conditioned in society to try to never hurt someone. I view it as the Dominant loving the slave and caring enough to implement it to make their goals be successful and an additional benefit of reinforcing their roles as Goddess/Dominant and slave. Another area that is touchy is will the slave harbor ill feelings towards the Dominant for the punishment. The answer here is NO, the slave knew going in the results of transgressions and has agreed to them and also desires correction.
I believe where there is a will there is a way in any situation to where a slave can be punished and when a Dominant fails to fulfill their agreement to punish or make excuses on why they didn’t punish is doing nothing but harm to the whole M/s dynamic. It shows the slave they can pretty much do whatever they want whenever they want and there will be no consequences. The slave may view it as a lack of caring and or love for their agreement to live a M/s life or worse yet, weakness in the person whom he most looks up to and adores and looks towards for direction. And it shows no sense of Control in the slaves mind and after all, isn’t that what the whole purpose is of a M/s relationship dynamic and what the slave desires the most? CONTROL from his GODDESS!!!