Denied & Caged

It’s been a while since I have written. Summer is here and life sometimes gets busy unfortunately and at times we don’t always have time to do everything we want. But one thing that never waivers is my love and admiration for my Goddess. My desire to serve her never diminishes even when we are in disagreement on somethings.

We are still trying to fight through things within the lifestyle that most people would never understand unless they are also involved within it. Consistency is at times challenged due to life’s events that go happen but we are both determined to make this work and hopefully we will get to the point that everything we have agreed upon becomes the “normal” for us.

So in my past writings I have written about denial & chastity, in my opinion, two very important aspects of a femdom marriage, TPE, FLR whatever you wish to call it. One thing also was on effects of male orgasms, the chemicals released within your brain after one and how it effects the male in how one acts after. I’m sure it has different or no effects on different people however after researching it, I became a believer in what I had learned, because I DO suffer from the effects and have noticed it before I even researched it.

When I orgasm unfortunately I lose ALL desires and feelings of submissiveness for at least 24 hours before it even starts to come back to me. It usually takes nearly a week for the strong desire and feeling to come back. But what’s worse is, for a couple days I feel the lifestyle in whole is stupid and that myself is stupid for submitting to a woman and I start lashing out at my Goddess and being mean and asserting my dominance which isn’t at all what I want.

We both talked for a long time and decided to try something different. We had read about ruined orgasms and that it diminishes the feelings in males that I described above due to it limits the chemical releases in ones brain. We tried this for the whole year of 2016 and I only experienced about 3 full orgasms the whole year however she would allow me to cum with a ruined orgasm once every two weeks. When I did this I would cum on my goddess’s belly then clean it up with my tongue and swallow it. Yes, for a full year I did this but it only diminished the effects to a minimal level. I still would lose most of my desire to be submissive and be an ass to my Goddess (and I hate that and its the last thing I want to do) but not as long, so in December of 2016 we talked again and came to a different resolution.

As of January 1, 2017 we agreed I am no longer allowed to cum except for special occasions. I am to please her with my tongue whenever she wishes and often. We bought a large dildo that is about 1.5 times bigger than me that we use often. I also bought a strap-on that I wear and please her with for intimacy purposes. All these things as far as I know and from what she says keeps her sexually satisfied even more than before.

Because my Goddess is so kindhearted we also agreed that before we do anything intimate I am to lock my cock up and leave the key in the bathroom due to if I start begging to cum or be inside her she gives in. This has worked great! I don’t beg or even ask because by the time I were to even get up and remove the chastity cage the mood is sunk.

So today is June 21, 2017 and my birthday was this month. Until my birthday the last time I have came was December 2016. (I know most wont believe that including my Goddess, but it is the truth) My Goddess allowed me the pleasure of finally cumming. I honestly figured she would at that time and was pleased when she said I could that night. The disappointing thing although was she denied me a full orgasm, only ruined and yes, she made me clean it up with my tongue. I actually was shocked she was firm on denying me that and what she said when I asked. Her words exactly when I asked was “No, do you think I want you being a dick to me for the next week?” I knew she was right so I took what I could and went with it. I honestly had forgotten how good she felt inside due to it had been nearly 6 months since I had been inside her. When I first entered her it felt like heaven but was short lived due to it being so long. I think I got maybe a half dozen strokes before I felt it build up and had to withdraw and cum with no more stimulation.

We also agreed that when I am home alone or home without her I will wear the cage at all times. Believe it or not, this is something I wanted also. When I am home alone the thought of masturbating is at times overwhelming if I do not have it on. Trust me, I want to cum, I want to explode big time but I also love the denial aspect but I also know if I cum I will be overwhelmed with guilt plus be a dick to her and I don’t want that so I prefer to wear the cage to prevent me from doing that.

So as far as the chastity cage goes, it is a huge help to me psychologically. When its not on the temptation to masturbate is so strong. When I have it on, there is no way I can stimulate myself. I have tried just to see. It’s pointless. I cant feel nothing through the cage and I know this hence the results I know I can’t masturbate which takes away all the questioning of whether I should or shouldn’t. I know I cant, period.

Yes, I love the denial and control but I would be a liar if I didn’t say I miss having orgasms and I do want to cum, but the alternative if I do is me being a dick and for some reason I cant control that aspect so in order to serve her better and be closer to her I forego them.

I love my Goddess more than anything in this world and think she is the most amazing, sexy woman I have ever met and feel like I am the luckiest man alive to be married to her and serve her!

I love you my Goddess

your slave always

m

 

Caged!

One thing I think everyone strives for as a slave in a M/s relationship is that feeling of total control. Totally being under someone else’s control 100%. Not just surrendering yourself willingly to someone but actually giving over that control them taking it and you under their control 100% for a given time and you not being able to have a choice of freewill. One way to experience this is a cage!

I had read different articles on caging your slave before my Goddess and I begun our journey into this lifestyle and proposed the idea of buying one when we started our journey. I expressed the psychological benefits to me and her both along with other benefits and she agreed to “try “implementing one into our lives.  I purchased one to experiment with in hopes we would both like it.

At first we bought a large flimsy dog crate to see if we would use it and like it before spending the money on a good cage. We received it from eBay and I right away set it up in the closet and that night we begun using it.

Before I go on I want to stress that I understand and respect people view M/s, D/s lifestyles differently, everyone has ways that work for them that don’t for others and this is MY take on how I want to look at our relationship together with my Goddess.

I know that no one sex is superior than the other completely. Each sex has their strengths and weaknesses. I DO however believe one person can be superior to the other and this is where me and my Goddess come into play. If I were to rate us each in lets say 10 different areas I would say she is superior in 7 out of 10 of them. Those areas of superiority in her is where I desire to focus my worship on her while trying to help her build up the areas she is lacking.

So back to the cage. So in all stories I have ever heard, read, watched that involve a Goddess and slaves not once did I ever come across one where a slave is worthy to sleep next to his goddess every night. In all honesty this type of mindset is the exact mindset I wish my Goddess to adopt and live by. I am her slave by choice and I do recognize and honor her superiority over me so our mindset should be that I am not worthy in her bed except for when she calls on me to pleasure her sexually. So as soon as the cage arrived I set it up in our walk in closet and we started using it. I started sleeping in it every night with the door of it padlocked shut.

After a month or so we both figured out it was a positive addition to our lives and also got sick and tired of hearing the flimsy cage rattling etc. whenever I moved inside it so we bit the bullet and spent nearly $400 on an actual real cage for animals that has actual bars on it. I slept every night in that cage for over a year and slept very well. We found out it offered a lot of benefits and some we never counted on.

  1. My Goddess is a light sleeper, this allowed her to sleep uninterrupted the whole night without being woken by me tossing & turning or snoring.
  2. Since she slept better every night she was in better moods and didn’t have as many migraine headaches.
  3. It also allowed her privacy to masturbate whenever she wanted without fear of me walking in on her and being embarrassed.
  4. Mentally it built up the control aspect both in her and me.
  5. I found sleeping on the hard surface every night was much better for my back. so less back pain daily.
  6. I had a problem leaving in the middle of the night and moving to the couch to watch TV, that I no longer do.
  7. In my mind I felt much closer to my Goddess because I was actually 100% at her mercy and control for about 8 hours out of everyday.
  8. It solidified our positions we accepted stronger as her being the superior one over me and me the lessor.
  9. I think it also positively affected me as in me showing more respect and being more obedient to her.
  10. It made me feel more loved due to it gave me a sense she was paying more attention to me.

A couple years ago we decided to upgrade our lives and now we live in a different home and between moving and life’s drama our special relationship fell to the wayside and we were just living as a everyday vanilla couple. Raising kids, working full time and doing our responsible dull everyday duties we all do that is expected of us. The “us” time we used to so cherish in my opinion was now gone.

Fast forward about 18 months and we decide to reclaim our “us” time and my Goddess says she is ready to lead and demand my worship again. I gladly accept. My Goddess and I get along so much better in everyway while practicing our special lifestyle. The old contract was rewritten and agreed upon and signed and once again we were on our way to having “us” time! About the only thing that we had to bring back was the cage and finally it was set up and we started using it again but not as consistently as before for.

This time is different though. Last time I was inside the closet in our bedroom just on the other side of the door about 5′ away from my Goddess. This time I’m down the hall and locked in the cage in a storage closet under the stairs. Where as before I still felt close to my Goddess at night now I feel left alone. The one thing I admit I do not like is that this arrangement is suppose to bring us closer and in a lot of ways it does but in some ways it doesn’t due to the distance.

I still however get half of the benefits. I feel the control, and actually sleep better at night. Not sure why but being locked up in the cage and it only being 36″ wide by 52″ long I feel safe and at ease even though I am cramped and unable to stretch out. I also feel good knowing that my Goddess is sleeping better every night also. After all, this relationship is mostly about her right?

I have been kicking some ideas around in my head to make it work to where the cage is brought back into our bedroom closet but ultimately that is up to my Goddess. Hopefully I can make it work so when its time for bed there will be no question where ‘my’ bed is and I go there directly and climb in and look up as my Goddess closes the lock and walks away until morning when she lets me out.

 

 

 

 

Humiliation Training

Found this writing very interesting yet very true in all ways. Humiliation is in my opinion one of the strongest tools one can use when not only training a sub but also as a reminder of his or her place always.

As a Dominant or Dominatrix, you have a special role in the development of your slave. You can utilize a variety of tools and training to encourage their full potential, and enable them to fully serve you and your needs. For some slaves, they require a certain sort of breaking down of their current state of mind. One way to inspire their feeling of being in a submissive state is to use humiliation training. Though not all slaves will want this sort of training, some do want it and can benefit tremendously, allowing them to sink into their role and serve you in the best way possible.


 

**Please Note** Humiliation training should never be conducted unless it has been previously discussed and agreed upon by both partners.  Humiliation training will not work if the submissive has not consented to it. Much care and attention should be spent on understanding the submissive’s past and knowing what forms of humiliation are completely off limits, so it can be avoided at all costs during training. Caution and common sense must be used at all times.

Humiliation Training

At the core of humiliation training is the creation of a lesser than headspace. This occurs by humiliating the slave’s central state of mind and putting them into a vulnerable state. This requires starting by identifying what makes the slave feel humiliated. This might include:

How they feel about themselves – A Dominant or Dominatrix can also identify what the submissive feels is the worst part of them (at this time, anyway). This might include how they look, how they sound, or how they behave when under stress. By talking about what the slave might be easily humiliated by, then that information can be used in a scene or as part of a longer-term training.

How they respond to certain words – There might be key words that a slave will find most humiliating. Some might respond to derogatory words, certain swear words, or certain labels that might be applied to them. Depending on the slave, you will need to find out what has the greatest possibility of generating true humiliation. Because every slave is different, it is essential to get to know your slave and to find out what they will benefit the most from in their training.

How they are impacted by certain goals – You might also choose to find certain goals that are nearly impossible to achieve. In doing so, there will be multiple points at which the slave is not going to succeed. For a slave who has issues with wanting to please their Master or Mistress, they will feel humiliated each time they try to reach the goals…and can’t. You might choose to point out all of the times they make a mistake, further humiliating them and making them think they are never going to please you.

How they respond to certain dress or punishments – Some slaves will feel humiliated by having to wear certain items (e.g. a diaper, the opposite gender’s clothing, etc.). By simply being in these garments or being punished in their most vulnerable areas, they will sink deeply into the headspace of being the object of humiliation. A Master or Mistress can then remind the slave of their position again and again, further enforcing the idea that they are less than their trainer.

How they have been treated in their lives – You can also explore the ways in which a slave has been humiliated in their everyday lives. Perhaps they did not do well in a work situation. You might find a way to act these sorts of real life scenarios out to feel the humiliation again, though with the lens of power exchange. The Dominant might be the mean boss, for example, and enact that to see how the slave will respond.

There might be other situations in which a slave will feel humiliated, so having detailed conversations about the slave will enable a more personalized approach to this training method.

The Purpose of Humiliation in Training

Many mistresses and masters will use humiliation training to encourage:

  • A submissive mindset at all times – The more you can keep a slave in the state of feeling like they are less than their master or mistress, the more they will stay engaged in the training process. If it’s clear they are going to be humiliated for any small infraction, the more they will remain submissive at all times during your scenes together.
  • A more focused slave – This sort of humiliation training also encourages focus and determination. While the slave might not be able to avoid humiliation, as they may never be perfect, they will realize it is their job to keep trying to please their trainer.
  • A slave that is willing to do whatever their master/mistress wants – Just as exercise builds stronger muscles, humiliation training will help a slave become more focused on attending to the needs of their master or mistress. Whether they are trying to avoid humiliation or not, the slave is better equipped for any scene in which they find themselves.
  • A slave who is empowered to face their fears – At its core, humiliation training helps to empower slaves against their fears. While they might find the beginning of this training to be challenging, they will slowly become stronger and better able to adapt the humiliation and the feelings that develop from it. They will be able to strengthen their mind and do what is asked, without being afraid.

The trick with humiliation training is that it’s best for slaves who already have a strong foundation in being submissive. Though some masters and mistresses might want to start with this hardcore training, it’s not always well-suited for those slaves who are just finding their place.

Humiliation is a tool of expansion for a slave. It is a practice of being able to follow through with commands and scenes, while their mind and body is overwhelmed by the stimulation of being humiliated. Over time and with practice, the slave will simply drop into a scene, accept their humiliation, and act accordingly.

No matter the reason why humiliation training is chosen for training, the master or mistress has a sacred responsibility to ensure the slave is well cared for in each scene. Though the scene might be harsh and difficult, the dominant or dominatrix needs to find some way to ensure the slave sees their progress. No one will be perfect, but the attempts of the slave to be their best will need to be recognized and appreciated.

And thus, the training will be a success.

Let It Go!

You can never be happy if you’re always afraid to let go of what’s comfortable, familiar. Sometimes, those are the things that hurts us.

Ever want to do something new or wonder what it would be like to do something new? Ever had a chance to do something new and pass it up then regret you didn’t? How about this, ever want to do something new and do it, and found out you loved it? Do you pass on doing new things only because you think it might make you feel uncomfortable? Ever take a chance and do that “uncomfortable” thing and find out it was like second nature to you and you enjoyed doing it?

I think we all pass up on doing things because we might feel the thought of doing something might be uncomfortable, unfamiliar or even worse, afraid of doing something like trusting and loving because we have been burnt badly in the past.

Opinions, beliefs, traditions, and feelings change typically in all of us over time. I am a perfect example of this. Mine have changed a lot and the one thing that changed all of them without me having any kind of choice about it is my wife/Goddess.

Here is where the phrase “Let it go” come in play.

First off I was raised with very old fashion vales and traditions. My father ruled the house with an iron fist while providing for the household financially. My mother was the traditional housewife who did all the cooking, cleaning, parenting and whatever was demanded of her by my father.

I have been burnt by women several times both mentally and financially to where I had to start over gain because they got everything and it took years to regain what I had. For nearly ten years I lived single with a lot of harsh feelings to the female race. After all they all are nothing but a bunch of gold digging whores who cheat on their husbands and spend their lives in the bars being alcoholics all while, we men are being good by staying home and working hard to provide, right?

If and that’s a big if, I ever got stupid and met someone that I wanted to share my life with again I’ll be dammed if I ever trust again! I’m going to want what my father always told me to go after. A woman who doesn’t work (because when they work they cheat), a woman who is only interested in basically being barefoot and pregnant who knows their place is in the kitchen cooking my dinners. I will rule my house with an iron fist like him and not put up with any bullshit from anyone period!  (I know my Goddess has a huge smirk on her face here)

Well, after being single for nearly 10 years all my fears, harsh feelings, hesitations, bitterness towards my arch enemy the female race got stomped on hard and ground deep hard into the ground. I met her! You know the one that was going to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen whom I would never trust and rule with an iron fist! Yup, I met her.

I let it go!

I am not going to go into how, why or when only to save on time but all those feelings I had towards women, you know the manly ones? I let them go! This woman I met blew my socks off! She is so damn sexy, beautiful and amazing she robbed me of all those feelings and she has actually made me into what I intended her to be. I am the one that cooks, cleans, and spends my life in the kitchen and takes direction from her. Yup. I’m the wife.

I was blessed to meet the most amazing incredible woman alive and she completely took over my life in the fact that I feel so deep in love with her that I would do anything for her. I never felt this strong of love before! I soon started to notice the more I did for her the happier she was which in turn made me happier. For numerous reasons and all positive we actually found a commonality in an alternative lifestyle of Dominant and submissive. I never pictured things the way they are now due to I always thought it would be me/Master, her/submissive but it is 100% reversed that now. I am now happier than I have EVER been being married to my wife whom I now refer to as my Goddess. I happily serve her everyday doing all the domestic chores a typical housewife does. I am at her beckon call to satisfy her sexually (and pay her $$ for allowing me the pleasure) with no regards to myself, due to I am no longer being allowed to cum.

Moral of the Story

  1. If I had refused to let go of my negative feelings, trust issues and animosity I would not be married to the most amazing woman alive.
  2. If I hadn’t tried new experiences with my wife I would be missing out on a lot of pleasures I now enjoy.
  3. If I had stayed in my comfortable space I would be missing out of everything I have right now.
  4. If I didn’t have an open mind and want to experiment with some things I would not be the person I am today.

So when it comes to life, open up your mind to all things and never rule something out until you have tried it. Be experimental, adventurous and try new things as long as it isn’t hurting someone. Get out of your comfort zone from time to time, you might like it and learn new things! Encourage and support your partner in life in their interest and choices. Personally I want my wife/Goddess to become more dominant over me. I want to look up at her each and every day as the most amazing powerful woman alive so I try my best to encourage that in whatever ways I can to build her mindset up.

I in turn ask for her to do the same for me as her slave. I want her to chose my clothing, talk to me as her slave, demand respect, assign tasks, and always keep me in the state of denial.

I always believe you should always put yourself first as I do always. The type of lifestyle I have chosen to live as my wife’s/Goddess’s slave is putting myself first, because her happiness and love is what I most desire in life. But I could not do it if I wouldn’t have opened up my mind some and let all past stuff go and looked at life with my Goddess as a new beginning with no anticipation of what direction we would grow in. I just followed my heart and went with stuff at the spur of the moment and let go! I have learned so much about myself these past years with her and hope to continue to grow in my service and love to my Goddess each and every day for the rest of my life.

I want to leave you with a few questions to ask yourself.  If your partner were to pass away today would you feel good that you did everything in your power to support and encourage him/her in life. Was there something else you could have done? Do you have any regrets?

LIFE IS TO DAMN SHORT! DON’T TAKE IT ALL FOR GRANITE! DO TODAY WHAT MAKES YOU BOTH HAPPY FOR TOMORROW THAT PERON MIGHT BE GONE!

To my Goddess

Missing you is my hobby, caring for you is my job, making you happy is my duty, and proudly serving and loving you is my life!

I love you with all my heart

your slave always marc

 

Needs

I found this on a forum and although written by a female I thought it was a great writing and rings so true in a lot of ways for both male and female slaves and think a lot of Dominants can gain from reading it.

I bolded & Italicized some comments that I either strongly agree with and or are most important to me. I added some of my own comments in numbered bullets.

 

I need to feel safe

  • Before I can begin to open my submissive nature to You, I need to feel safe and have reason to trust You. To let down my walls and give You control of my will may take time and testing before I feel safe enough to permit either of us to go beyond the initial stages of our relationship. Even after I’ve given myself to You fully, I need to be reminded I am safe with You. I may like to feel the thrill and excitement of fear and the unknown, but I need to be sure no matter how You stimulate those emotions during an intense scene or situation, I will remain safe in Your care.

I need to know You accept me for all I am

  • I will be many things to You as our relationship grows and I need to know You accept me as a person during each transition along the way. I need to know You accept me as a friend, lover, companion, and Your submissive but also accept me as parent, child, employee, community member or other roles I fill in my obligations to family or society.
    1. I am who I am and although some of the interest I have you like and some you may not like or understand they are all what makes me, me. I think we all can find both positive and negative in everyone we meet but we have to look at the person as a whole.

I need to have clearly defined limits

  • I need to know exactly what You expect of me and know that You also understand my limits. In some ways I am like a child that needs a fence around my play area so I know how far I can go and feel secure inside those limits. I need You to reinforce those fences by correcting me when I try to climb them without Your approval.
    1. Although you have gotten much better I need you to throw away all reservations you have of how you think I may react if you tell me or remind me of your  expectations or even set and enforce new ones.

I need You to be consistent

  • I need to know You mean what You say and that today’s rules will apply to tomorrow’s behavior. Nothing confuses me more than giving me mixed signals by allowing me to break rules that You’ve given me. From time to time I may test You to see if You are capable of accepting control of my life by consistently bringing me back to the path You’ve chosen for me. It’s not done to try Your patience, but is my way of finding reassurance You are paying attention to my progress. Very often it’s not done consciously and I promise I’ll not use it as a method for provoking Your negative responses.
    1. I think this here is the biggest fault of anyone in a lifestyle like ours. Again, you have been doing amazingly better but consistency is huge! I try my best and also have my faults here and this is where I need your assistance. NEVER EVER let me get away with anything, ALWAYS ALWAYS correct me and or punish me if called for no matter what. Be the same everyday! ALWAYS be in charge, firm, direct and what applies to today also applies to tomorrow and the next day and so on.

I need to expand my limits

  • I need to grow and to be challenged. Left on my own, I’ll become bored or stagnate within the boundaries I accepted in the beginning. I need to be pushed, but never shoved, to go beyond the places I’ve been. I may drag my feet and pout at times, or sit down and refuse to move because I’m unsure and need Your guidance in overcoming my obstacles. I depend on You for strength and encouragement to get beyond them.
    1. Here I would ask for you to provide me more responsibilities in whatever ways you can in additional task, duties etc. in making your life easier. I would also like more encouragement and support in things that help me on my journey with growing my submissiveness.

I need You to teach me

  • I need to learn, and it is You who are my teacher. My mind is hungry for new things and learning helps me to become all that I can be. This may require You to continue to learn new things in order to keep me challenged. Together we can grow to the fullness of the gifts we have and deepen the diversity we share.

I need goals

  • Part of my make-up as a submissive makes me very goal-oriented. I need them to measure my progress and need You to provide them for me. Take time to explain those goals in ways I can comprehend Your plans concerning my growth as Your submissive. Without Your direction, I quickly become lost so I’ll look to You frequently to provide a purpose and aim as I continue in my development as a submissive.
    1. Here you are very relaxed on and I’m good with that in the sense of chores etc. but I would love to have some goals set by you aimed at ways in which I can serve and worship you more and better. I know the overall scope of what you like but I would love to have specific task/goals you desire of me in ways I can grow my worship of you. You always say you do not really have a “creative” mind and or can’t think of stuff but honestly I think that’s a cop out in ways. ONLY YOU knows exactly what you want, love and what makes you feel amazing and that’s what I want you to share with me! MAKING YOU FEEL AMAZING MAKES ME FEEL AMAZING!

I need to be corrected

  • I need You to correct me when I make mistakes. Without Your correction, I will develop bad habits that can be very difficult to break and do great damage to our relationship and to us as individuals. Without Your correction, I may never know I’ve made a mistake. Allowing me to continue unchecked will only cause me to fail both of us in the end. I admire firmness in Your correction and feel secure in knowing that You will never be afraid to take steps needed in keeping me focused on the goals You’ve set for me.
    1. I really don’t think I need to pound the sand on this anymore except, be consistent always, never allow me to get away with anything, punish if necessary with the intent it actually be punishment, be firm and in charge and most importantly ALWAYS remember you are doing this to teach/train me to be a better person/slave to you and its for MY benefit!

I need You to be my role-model

  • I look up to You and try to follow in Your footsteps. If You fail to live up to a standard, I will follow You into failure, often without You noticing until it is too late. I learn quickly by the examples You provide for me and often base my reactions and behaviors on my observations of You in similar situations. I will blindly pattern myself in Your image, so be aware that my eyes will always be on You as You face Your own challenges and daily activities.

I need Your approval and reassurance

  • I need to know when You approve of me or what I’ve done and to know I belong to You even if I fall short of my goals. I sometimes confuse approval with disapproval when You do not provide positive reinforcement when You are pleased by my actions. I will constantly be seeking Your approval when I’m unsure of myself and may need to rely deeply on Your support and reassurance when I’m confused about a situation or apprehensive about a new challenge.
    1. Although you might not think so I also need reassurance and approval from you often. To be honest most time I think you take everything I do for granted and you don’t appreciate what I do. Guess here is where I sound like the housewife lol. I do feed off your reassurance and approval and love receiving it from you because of how much I love and respect you. It energizes me to continue working hard for you.

I need to be able to express myself

  • I have a need to express both good and bad things to You but it may be difficult for me to put the negative things into words. I fear Your rejection and hate disappointing You, so I may need a little space and time to voice all the things I need to say. You can help me by reassuring me that my feelings are valid, even if they aren’t something You find pleasure in hearing. There may be times when I’m upset or angry with You but without freedom to express those feelings, there can be only festering resentment or misunderstanding. Guide me in ways that I can learn to speak my heart without breaking it or Yours.
    1. Not everything I desire in traditional I know this but I often wonder if you’re thinking negative of me for stuff I do or desire. However, our agreement we have also isn’t traditional or normal. I just don’t ever want to disappoint you in anyway or have you think negatively of me for something I share with you. Communication is everything here.

I need to learn from my mistakes

  • I need to experience things that may be painful in order to learn successfully. I know Your protective nature will struggle with allowing me to be hurt but I need to learn the consequences of what I’ve done and to experience the feelings that go along with making mistakes. I will need Your comfort once I’ve faced my failure, but will sometimes feel unworthy of asking or unable to voice my disappointment in failing. Allow me to sort out my feelings before wiping away my tears.

I need forgiveness when I fail You

  • Nothing hurts me more than to know I’ve failed or displeased You, and I need to be forgiven once I’ve made amends. It is very hard for me to forgive myself for a wrong-doing and I may need Your help in getting beyond the feelings of remorse I am carrying. I may even need to be punished, if my wrong-doing was traumatic enough, in order to feel closure and accept forgiveness. I depend on You to make that determination for me and need Your help in making an atonement that is acceptable to You.
    1. Nothing hurts me more than to know I’ve failed or displeased You, and I need to be forgiven once I’ve made amends. I thought this line was worth repeating because it is so true for me also. I do not ever want to fail you in any way however I know at times I might displease you unfortunately and this is where punishment comes in. Without punishment I won’t learn or remember. Always punish with intent of it being punishment (another words painful) having no regards for my suffering. Just a caveat here also, (I’m not telling you what to do/topping from bottom, I just want the punishment to BE punishment if that makes sense.) the last time you did with 10 swats I do not believe is enough due to just when it started to begin to be painful it was over. I think we should up the spankings to a minimum of 2o swats. Up to you though!  

I need to feel I contribute

  • I have a deep-set need to give and must have outlets for this need. My basic nature is to give of myself and You will be the primary recipient of my gifts. Allow me to contribute to our relationship and our life together. To do less will leave me unfulfilled and unneeded, a fate worse than death for me. Provide me with ways to contribute things to others, also. I may need to give of myself to those I hold dear but You will always receive the best I have to offer.

I need to enjoy successes

  • Without experiencing and enjoying my successes, I may give up my fight to be all You desire for me. Allow me the pleasure of savoring the taste of victory when I overcome an obstacle or if You find pride in my attempts. All of my successes belong to You and I need to share their rewards with You. I don’t expect You to spoil me with grand displays for little victories, but when I’ve reached beyond the limits of my past attempts, please don’t deny me the sweet feelings of knowing I’ve achieved a goal You’ve set.

I need to share with You

  • Sharing with You is a compelling need and one of the cornerstones of my submissive nature. This includes the emotional and spiritual aspects of my being as well as the physical body I inhabit. It may be difficult for me to give You access to the deeper levels of my emotions and feelings, but those are the things I need to share the most. I’ll depend on You to direct me in ways I can achieve total openness with You. I also need to share in the things You are. Trust me enough to share in Your fears, failures and struggles. I’ll never see You as weak or incapable because You have shown confidence in me by giving part of Yourself in trust.

I need to feel loved, respected, and protected in Your ownership

  • No matter how well I’ve done or how miserably I’ve failed, I need to know I’m still loved and protected by You. Nothing will prevent me from trying new things like fear of losing Your respect and love. By the reverse, nothing will encourage me to expand my limits and grow to be all I am capable of being more than knowing You will be there to protect me from harm and will love me even if I fall short of the target. I need to be loved and to love You in return. I can’t survive without it.
    1. I really cant add to this. it pretty much says it all! I think if you drop the ownership off everyone wants to feel this in a marriage!  But as far as us I need to feel owned, controlled and as property of my Goddess! I always want to feel as if you have your foot on me just waiting for me to screw up so you can step on me harder if that makes sense.

 

New Year, New Attitude!

I think the following two statements we can all agree on!

I do not think there is anyone out there that is happily married or in a committed relationship that purposely does not want to give their partner everything they possibly can in order to make them happy. Same thing goes for kids, any parents that love their children never want to deny them anything, we all want to give them everything we possibly can to help them be successful.

Just the same as far as the way we talk to loved ones. Nobody that truly loves their partner or children are intentionally rude or disrespectful to them in any way. If we love the person we always do the right thing to help them to reach their goals in life if we can.

Is their ever a time to “parent” your partner and refuse them something or talk in a demeaning way to them or force them to do something?

The answer is quite simply YES.

Although this is my opinion I DO understand and respect the fact that others opinion can and probably do differ in many ways and that’s ok. Every relationship is different and what works for one might not for the other. I kind of view in some ways the type of relationship my wife and I have agreed upon as Goddess/slave in some ways is parent/child.

When we have children we make decisions for them every day, why? Because we know what is best for them. Rarely children agree nor understand why we as parents make the decisions we do but we know as parents that we make them with what’s best in mind for them. Sometimes the children go against what we say and do not listen which results in some form of punishment. But we make them decisions with confidence knowing we are doing what’s best for them.

These decisions we make for them, we do with no consideration for what the child will think or how the child will act out or feel. We make them because its what is best for the child! We never let the reactions or fear of how the child will react influence how we make decisions, talk to them, or even punish when necessary. We do it because we love them and its what we believe is best for them and it will help them be successful.

So fast forward to adulthood and dealing with your spouse/partner in life. The dynamics of how we treat other people and the decisions we make become individualized. We typically do NOT  make the decisions for our spouse/partner in life because we are now all adults and know better, right? The answer is not that easy here because it is yes and no.

In a typical vanilla relationship/marriage in todays society it is basically 50/50. We respect each other in the fact that we make decisions with both parties in mind opposed to just one person.  We have free will and can make those decisions without fear of retribution from anyone for the most part. Sure some decisions we make might frustrate your partner but we hope they make them with you in mind also and we also know if the decisions were bad choices and the outcome turns out to be bad we also have no fear of punishment.

In my relationship with my Goddess where I have 100% consented to serving her as her slave 24/7 she has the obligation of making all the decisions. She may at times ask my opinion on tough situations or decisions that will affect both of us but overall, the final decision is hers. Our relationship is in my opinion 95/5 where my 5 is where I am allowed to at least express my opinion. I gave my Goddess this power over me for many reasons:

  1. She’s smart
  2. She makes good rational decisions
  3. We typically view most things the same
  4. I do want to change in some ways to be more in line with her views
  5. I want her to make decisions with her in mind first
  6. I want her to be happy and get what she wants
  7. I want her to be in control
  8. I TRUST HER!

Now comes the hard part for both of us!

From my perspective I have to get used to, and accept her making all the decisions, and be prepared that she will make some decisions I do not agree with. Rather than go against them I need to remind myself going forward of my role beneath her and be obedient and accept them 100%, trusting that she made them with the mindset of what is best for both of us while still putting herself first.

For my Goddess she has to get used to making all the decisions! I used to be the primary decision maker on most things but I always did confer with her and get her opinion on nearly everything first. After sitting down with my Goddess and discussing everything I have given all this to my Goddess. My main focus from now on is one thing, that is to serve her in any way she wishes.

With the new year upon us I have made it a resolution of mine personally to be more submissive to my Goddess and worship her more, but most importantly look up to her for direction in everyday decisions. I do want this, and she say’s she also wants this. I no longer want the 50/50 relationship. I want it to be 95/5 in her favor as far as the power distribution. I believe communication is everything in relationships and I wish to pas along my thoughts to my Goddess on areas I think she can grow in also and how I would love to see things go if she so chooses. Some might call this topping from the bottom or whatever, I am not telling her what to do I am communicating my thoughts is all, she has freewill to do whatever she wishes.

My Goddess has come a long ways recently and is doing incredible as the one in charge. Things take time and not everything is going to change overnight I understand, but my wish is that for 2017 is we can reach our goals. So here is a list of what my wants and desires are for my Goddess which in turn will help me immensely serve her as the Goddess I love, adore, respect and admire.

  1. Most importantly TRUST in me 100% that I DO want you in charge and I DO think you are sexy and amazing
  2. With the new year adapt and embrace your role as my Goddess, the one in complete charge
  3. Make all decisions with confidence trusting in me to be acceptant and obedient
  4. Be selfish and think of yourself first always
  5. Walk with absolute confidence in your beauty and power
  6. Discard your all your fears of leading in all ways by having faith I will not react in a negative way to your decisions
  7. ALWAYS be consistent and hold me accountable for transgressions by enforcing punishment
  8. Demand respect always from me
  9. Demand worship from me always
  10. In regards to you building your confidence, trust and control of me, be more supportive, be creative and open minded in ways of building upon my submissiveness (see tools section)
  11. Find creative ways and demand more ways for me to serve you better and never feel guilty that you may be asking too much of me. I love serving you and the more I can do for you the better I feel knowing I am pleasing you
  12. Work on your communication skills with me by telling me what’s on your mind and how you feel about things

Again, I realize most things do NOT happen overnight and I’m ok with it. A lot of things in our choice of lifestyle I also know goes against traditional thinking and what society deems as normal. But like my Goddess always says,” it works for us”. Personally as far as I think as long as we are consenting in our lifestyle and it brings us closer then in my humble opinion anything goes! no matter how “kinky” or strange or how much it goes against societies norm as long as we keep it private and between us only with no 3rd party involved to where it helps build our closeness in our relationship and also allows us to be our true self I look at it as a positive!

I love my wife/Goddess so much and most importantly I love her from the inside out meaning I love the person she is within. To me it doesn’t matter if she were 110 pounds or 210 pounds, or if she were to wear nothing but sweats or dresses, or drive a Volkswagen or Mercedes she is my Goddess. I guess what I am trying to say is I love her for her! I love her for who she is INSIDE! I do not love her for what she has or the clothes she wears (however when she puts on a skirt and heels OMG!), or the size of person she is, or what her desires of material things may be, these do not make the person. The person is who is found within!  That person within my Goddess is warm, caring, loving, and just simply an amazing beautiful person!

I love you my Goddess with all my heart!

your slave always m

 

 

BDSM Test

Here is the results for me. I think this is the most accurate “test” that covers many areas of alternative lifestyles. It pretty much nailed me 100% accurately. The link is at the end if anyone is interested in taking it.

 

Results Summary

 

100%   Degradee
Degradation receivers like to be degraded and humiliated by their play partner(s), either by being acted upon in a degrading way, or by being forced do things they consider degrading.
Degradees typically pair up with degraders.
100%   Submissive
Submissive’s like to follow. Some like to give the control away to their partner(s), some like to have it forcibly taken from them. Some are submissive only in the bedroom, others are submissive throughout their daily life as well (usually with limitations). Unlike the bottom roles (receiving pain/bondage/degradation), being submissive is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the contents of what happens.
Submissives typically pair up with dominants.
99% Rope bunny
Rope bunnies like to be tied up and restrained, using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, speaders…). Whether for sexual enhancement, for art or just for fun, they enjoy being totally at the mercy of their partner(s).
Rope bunnies typically pair up with riggers.
100% Slave
Slaves completely hand over the control and responsibilities over their life to their master/mistress. They go a step further than submissives in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life (except for negotiated exceptions such as during their office jobs). Serving their master/mistress is their primary focus in life and they rarely have limits for them.
Slaves typically pair up with masters/mistresses.
95% Pet
Is property of their owner in daily life. Sexuality is not necessarily involved. Often combined with some form of animal role play (puppy, kitten, etc.) but not necessarily.
Pets typically pair up with owners.
91% Masochist
Masochists enjoy receiving (certain types of) pain from their partner(s), usually in a sexual context. Masochism is independent of pain tolerance: it is purely about the ability to enjoy (or get aroused by) certain levels of pain.
Masochists typically pair up with sadists.
85% Primal (Prey)
Primals are mainly focused on their natural instincts and they enjoy letting their inner animal out during sex. The key part for primals play is that the participants show their raw, emotional sexual feelings during play. All of the labels, roles, and protocols go out the window, and the prey (you) can become a snarling, growing, clawing animal hell-bent on getting away from its predator.
Preys typically pair up with primal hunters.
77% Experimentalist
Experimentalists want to have tried it all. An open mind and an insatiable curiosity are their key features, and they will rarely form an opinion before they have gathered first hand experience. They often have plenty of fantasies and will actively pursue to try them out.
Experimentalists typically pair up with other experimentalists.
53% Exhibitionist
Exhibitionists enjoy showing their naked body or a sexual activity to other people. Definitions vary with respect to whether those being shown this, should be looking for such encounter or not.
Exhibitionists typically pair up with voyeurs.
52% Girl/Boy
Littles (girls/boys) are submissive spirits that mix childlike innocence with naughty sexual curiosity. They long for a nurturing loving dominant who plays a guiding, almost parental role in their lives. While they require a softer approach to be dominated than most other submissives, their submission can go a lot deeper and sometimes rival those of slaves.
Girls/boys typically pair up with daddies/mommies.
26% Brat
Brats are, in essence, naughty submissives. They find disobedience a form of playfulness rather than letting their dominant down, and require a compatible dominant who will not only teach them a lesson, but also accept that any number of lessons might still not necessarily change this behavior.
Brats typically pair up with brat tamers.
24% Voyeur
Voyeurs enjoy watching the nakedness or sexual activity of other people. Definitions vary with respect to whether those being watched should be aware of this, or not.
Voyeurs typically pair up with exhibitionists.
4% Age player
Age players like to play with age as part of their kink. They typically take on a much younger or older age than they actually are, or prefer playing with a partner that does so. Attributes and behavior changes (such as pacifiers, coloring books, speaking in more childlike language, …) are commonly paired with this, to enrich the context and make it more appropriate for the played age.
Age players typically pair up with other age players.
4% Sadist
Sadists enjoy inflicting (certain types of) pain on their partner(s), usually in a sexual context. Consent hereby is always assumed.
Sadists typically pair up with masochists.
3% Degrader
Degradation givers like to degrade and humiliate their play partner(s), either by acting upon them in a degrading way, or by or by forcing them to do things they consider degrading. Consent hereby is always assumed.
Degraders typically pair up with degradees.
3% Non-monogamist
Non-monogamists do not see sexuality as necessarily a 1 on 1 thing. Whether this means they will have several relationships or just see other people outside their relationship (or have even more exquisite constructions) depends entirely on the person and the situation, but they all have one thing in common: their sexuality is more than just between them and one fixed partner.
Non-monogamists typically pair up with (several) other non-monogamists.
3% Primal (Hunter)
Primal’s are mainly focused on their natural instincts and they enjoy letting their inner animal out during sex. The key part for primals play is that the participants show their raw, emotional sexual feelings during play. All of the labels, roles, and protocols go out the window, and the prey can become a snarling, growing, clawing animal hell-bent on getting away from its predator (you).
Hunters typically pair up with primal preys.
3% Switch
Switches like to… well, switch. Always taking a dominant or top position is not for them, neither is always taking a submissive or bottom position. Some prefer to switch with the same partner or partners, others have a dominant play partner and a submissive play partner, but in either case they do not fit on one end point of the spectrum.
Switches typically pair up with other switches.
3% Vanilla
Vanilla people enjoy regular, standard sex and relationship models. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re having fun!
Vanillas typically pair up with other vanillas.
2% Dominant
Dominants like to be in charge. Some like to have their partner obey them without questioning, others like some resistance while taking it their way. Some are dominant only in the bedroom, others are dominant throughout their daily life as well (usually with limitations). Unlike the top roles (giving pain/bondage/degradation), being dominant is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the contents of what happens.
Dominants typically pair up with submissive.
2% Rigger
Riggers like to tie up and restrain their partner(s), using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreaders…). Whether for sexual enhancement, for art or just for fun, they enjoy having their partners completely at their mercy.
Riggers typically pair up with rope bunnies.
1% Brat tamer
Brat tamers are, in essence, dominants who enjoy handling bratty submissive. They find disobedience a form of playfulness from the side of the submissive, rather than a form of rudeness. They will take no offence to it, but will still teach the sub a well deserved lesson (because, of course, that is why the bratty sub shows such behavior in the first place).
Brat Tamers typically pair up with brats.
1% Daddy/Mommy
Daddies/Mommies take on a caretaker role in the relationship, being a guide as much as a dominant. Daddies/Mommies dominate their little treasure submissive with an iron fist in a velvet glove: much cuddly and affectionate on the outside, while being as sturdy and hard on the inside as other dominants. Using subtle psychological mechanisms rather than brute power, they nurture their littles into obedience.
Daddies/Mommies typically pair up with girls/boys.
1% Owner
Owns and takes responsibility over a pet, on a 24/7 basis. Sexuality is not necessarily involved. Often provides in animal role play attributes (e.g. puts pet in a cage) but not necessarily.
Owners typically pair up with pets.
 0% Master/Mistress
Masters/Mistresses receive complete control over the life of their slave(s), and all responsibilities that come with it. They go a step further than dominants in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life (except for negotiated exceptions such as during their office jobs). Their primary focus is to create a stable and safe environment for their slave(s), to allow optimal servitude.
Masters/Mistresses typically pair up with slaves.

https://bdsmtest.org/index.php

Tools

Tools are something we use to assist us in reaching a goal. That goal may be building a piece of furniture to sit on or the goal of being able to deal with todays stresses in todays crazy life. They can be something as simple as a screwdriver or as unique and expensive as a psychologist. They can be used to tear things down such as a automotive engine to even yes, a person, like the military does in basic training. Tools are anything that assist us in reaching a end goal.

We all use tools everyday to deal with different situations in life and probably do not even realize it most times. How do you get to work? Probably a car, right? your end goal each morning you have to work is to reach that destination and you do that by using a tool, your car! How about when you start to stress in a certain way, you can use medicines, counselors, exercise, and many other forms that may work for you to release that stress. What my end goal here in writing this (and yes this blog is my tool) is we have countless things we deal with everyday and we use tools to deal with all these situations to reach that end result. To one person someone may view a cooking utensil as a exquisite piece of equipment only a chef would use and the next person might just think of it as your everyday kitchen utensil. I guess here what I am trying to state is everyone views tools in different ways and to some, a tool may be more valuable or helpful to one person than the next.

Setting Goals

In the way of life that me and my Goddess have chosen to live I have a goal. That goal is to feel owned by her and hopefully spiral as deep as I can get down that staircase of slavery and submissiveness as I can. I have the strongest desire every day to worship her at her feet but ultimately my end goal is to feel 100% controlled by her, 100% submissive to her and for her also to engrain fear of her in me using swift and harsh punishment that would result in ways that will help me better serve her without any infractions and always showing her due respect. I am the luckiest man alive and I know this for she has chosen to allow me to serve her and who wouldn’t want to serve an amazing, sexy, smart, kind, loving woman?

Reaching Your Goals

Reaching goals can be tough if trying to do it alone without help. As much as I desire to worship and be at my Goddess’s feet I will be able to reach my goal much easier by using tools. This is where I guess as different as our relationship is from societies norm, so of the tools may just as different. Again, as far as what tools work for one might not work for the other. Some tools take more of an open mind than others but they all serve the same purpose and that’s to reach an end goal!

I have tried to provide every means to my Goddess by giving her or telling her of multiple tools to help me on my journey into complete ownership/submissiveness towards here. Some she uses quite successfully some she is very cautious on due to that thing again called “societies Norm”. For me personally (Hard Limits/beliefs) as long as what people do is between two consenting adults, male/female, does not involve anything illegal and kept pretty much private, the only “normal” should be what ever a couple chooses to do and receives pleasure out of it and grows their relationship in a positive way.

I fell in love with my Goddess for who she is inside as a person and believe me, in my opinion she is much different today than when I met her, but her core is the same. She is amazing, sexy and smart. One major change in her today compared to when I met her is her attitude and the way she carries herself, she is a much stronger and confident woman today then when we first met. I believe I was a huge part in that positive change in her by using my arsenal of tools I had. Those tools are called love, respect, loyalty, trust, compliments, desire of her, and more. Since I viewed her pretty much as my Goddess I used whatever I could get my hands on that would assist her in growing into the woman she is today and she has changed a lot so I do know as adults with help we all can change how we view things and treat one another and that is my ultimate goal and that is where I am asking my Goddess for help and to use with an open mind whatever tools she has available to her to mold me into the obedient slave she most desires. One thing that needs to be realized though it is work and takes consistency and both have to partake and be supportive for someone to change but change is very possible.

My Tools

The following is a list of tools that my Goddess has at her disposal to train and mold me into the worshipping slave she so desires and although some may be judgemental of them because they might go against societies norms to me they are just what I said they are, tools and nothing more and what works on me might not work on the next person.

Chastity Cage-when I’m locked up it gives me a strong sense of being owned by my Goddess as long as she is the one making me wear it and controlling the key and deciding length of time. My ultimate goal would be wearing it 24/7 but after extended use of a day or so I start to feel soreness and so I am cautious but wish she would start having me wear it daily and hopefully slowly over time while increasing times my body would adjust to it to be permanent.

Women’s clothing-here is the topic that goes against societies norms I guess and where she struggles to accept them merely as a tool and an article of clothing. I am NOT trying to transform my looks to look like a female nor do I desire being a woman lol. It’s purely a mental thing and I will admit it’s exciting to have a dirty little secret we share together and no one else has a clue.  I do wear panties daily now and she has adjusted to that quite well. They serve as a constant reminder of my place beneath my Goddess. BUT they also make me feel more submissive towards her also. I have recently acquired bras now that also add on to that submissive feeling and hope that she will someday be as acceptance to those and other things as the panties due to I can easily wear them below my clothing without anyone taking note but again I do not intend on forcing the issue. I have also expressed my desire to my Goddess to purchase and wear women’s jeans that would pass for men’s. It would be incredible if one day we were out and out of nowhere took me to a store and handed me a few pair and directed me to go try them on. Not sure if it will ever happen but I guess one can dream! 🙂 Feminine articles of clothing magnify my desires for some reason and not sure why, of how I wish to feel towards her. Maybe it is because the whole idea that according to societies norm traditionally women are supposed to be subservient to their men and by wearing them it softens my personality in a way that I should be the subservient one if that makes sense. But I will add that at least for panties they are 100% a hell of a lot more comfortable then men’s with a lot more choices of styles, materials and color! Men’s clothes are very limited and boring.

Verbal reminders-as her slave now I feel I have taken over all the roles of a typical housewife. I do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. My Goddess at times now refers to me as her wife. Society defines the wife as a female where I define it as a role in a marriage and not a gender hence I love her referring to me as her wife and wish she would just make it a normal description going forward of my position in our marriage. I take it as a compliment rather than a put down. Now don’t take me wrong, I don’t want to be a woman and never would want to but honestly we have done a complete role reversal between us hence she at times refers to me as her bitch or a woman and at times when I do something good she will say good girl. Although those names make me blush some I enjoy them and they do aide tremendously in making me feel submissive towards her and I crave being called them.

Whips, chains and strap-on’s oh my! Toys are another great tool in her dominance over me! Strapping me down and sexually taking advantage of me is a feeling like no other and I am 100% under her control and mercy. She can use me however she likes! Pegging is another very powerful tool in her asenal. When she straps that on and fucks me I am transformed from reality to total and complete submission to her! The act is domineering and the feeling of looking up or back at her while she plunges deep inside me is indescribable! It cements our places between us!

Punishment-probably the most powerful tool in her arsenal and the one we have to work on the most. Once she gets over her apprehension of what I will think if she punishes me or what my reaction will be and start holding me accountable for ALL indescretions I will finally feel the one thing that in my opinion is the  foundation of control. FEAR! Fear and belief that if I screw up in any way I will be punished.

Orgasm Denial-I think by now at least sexually my Goddess believes sexually all I care about is her pleasure and I am willing to give up any form of release from my side. Reading the scientific part of what happens when a man cums/orgasms with all the chemicals released to the brain all it does is significantly cause a long pause and a setback in my training and submissiveness. I would challenge any male that is in a D/s or M/s relationship where he is the slave or submissive to challenge me on this! When I cum my manliness starts to rage for about ten days! I want to be in charge, I want to conquer, I am not submissive at all, in fact I start thinking being submissive is stupid and I am going to prove I am not hence losing all desire to serve and be loving and obedient. Yes you may be able to shorten that time with ruined orgasms but you still have a setback hence we have decided I am not allowed to cum at all. I support this decision 100%. Yes I love to have a huge orgasm or even just cum with a ruined orgasm but the results aren’t worth it to me because I lose all my feelings of submissiveness for a time period. I hate that feeling and LOVE feeling submissive to my Goddess and being at her feet.

To sum it all up!

The one thing I know for sure is my Goddess LOVES being worshipped and looked up to and being in charge, that I have no doubts in. We both as far as I know share the same goals of her total domination and my complete submission. The more these tools are used on me the deeper down that spiral staircase of service and submissiveness I will fall. I know she is hesitant in some areas due to it does go against societies norms and she isn’t used to it but to me it is what it is and it’s something between her and I and no matter what she does to me or what I wear as clothing I will always be me, the MAN she fell in love with who loves her unconditionally no matter what and she definitely should have no doubts about that!

I have always been open minded to a point but I think one of my biggest flaws is being impatient. When I want something I typically want it now and not later. The one thing I think I most desire in life is to be that slave and have that strong feeling of total submission towards her and not to feel like it’s roleplay but to feel it and believe it that it is a complete normal everyday thing between my Goddess and me. I know most people wouldn’t understand my desires and think badly of me but that’s ok because I feel the same about a lot of people for doing things they do but I respect the fact it’s their thing, just like this is ours. All I ask of my Goddess is to use the above tools as much as possible to assist me in reaching my/our destination of total submission and her domination.

Bucket list for 2017

It’s that time of year again where we all make our new years resolutions. Some are kept, most are broken. So there are a few I have in mind that I would like to declare that I will make for sure and some I will give my best effort to be successful at.

The most important one and the one I WILL keep and the one I most desire to be successful at is becoming a better slave to my Goddess in every way. We have tried and tried for the past years to transform our marriage into a loving Goddess/slave relationship only failing each and every time not due to our choices really but due to outside influences of everyday events that were challenging in every way. We have had to set “us” aside each time to take care of others for one reason or another. I believe now, hopefully, we are past all these unexpected events and now its time to shift more of the focus on us!

We have been back at it now for a few months in our agreement and our agreed upon roles and it feels really good this time and going very well. We have grown much closer I feel in all ways mentally and physically. We have been communicating much more and I feel life has been much happier and less stressful.

We both have a long ways to go I believe but we are on the right path for success as long as more bullshit doesn’t pop up. So as far as my wish list/resolution for 2017 in this area it is as follows.

  1. My love to continue to grow for my Goddess
  2. Spend more time on my knees before her worshipping her
  3. Become more obedient and less defiant
  4. Become much more submissive to her
  5. Become more respectful
  6. To put her needs and desires more before my own
  7. To come up with new and more ideas to please and pleasure her
  8. Spend more “alone” time with her
  9. Make her smile more
  10. Make her feel like she is the most amazing sexy woman alive!

PAY OFF ALL DEBT and become debt free except of course our house!!!!!!!!!!!!

My next few goals are for myself personally to help myself become more healthy

  1. Quit smoking
  2. Become more physical active with exercise

I do not think the above goals and resolutions are by any means unattainable and fully intend on directing my complete focus on them. I know I am very blessed to have the most amazing family one could have and definitely the most amazing Goddess as my wife that makes me feel like the luckiest man alive that she allows me to serve her.

I love you my Goddess!

your slave forever marc

 

 

Fantasies vs Reality

Fantasy-the faculty or activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable.

Reality-the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

Fantasies. We all have them. We all dream of them. Some are the darkest desires within our minds that are impossible to ever happen and some are very possible to make reality if you are willing to put in the effort.

Can fantasy and reality co-exist? Can fantasy become reality or is reality just fantasy? Kind of confusing I imagine. The question is, in your reality, which one do you think is my fantasy and which is my reality. Can fantasy and reality be successful together or do we have a choice of one or the other?

When I was a kid I used to have dreams of having powers of being able to fly, stop bullets with my chest, lift cars and throw them like they are pop cans just like Superman. Could this Fantasy ever become reality? Hell no. When I became aware and interested in sexual things I started dreaming about having dozens of women at my disposal just wanting to lay with me, you think that will ever happen? Hell no. Another recurring dream I used to have was of this very powerful sexy woman that would tower over me looking down as I cower on my knees before her as she barks out commands how life is going to be for now on and how lucky I am just to be in her presence. Think that will ever happen? Hell n……..WAIT! my Fantasy did become a reality!

The point I’m trying to make is there are a lot of fantasies we as kids had growing up whether they are fantasies of being the President of the United States or a solider or just  a slave to a beautiful sexy Goddess. We all have our personal desires of what we want in life and what goals we want to achieve but most fantasies are obtainable in the reality.

Reality & Husband/wife

Growing up I was always conditioned to societies idea of what we as “normal” everyday people should strive for. I would graduate high school, get a good job, meet a good loyal woman and fall in love. Soon after that I would marry, buy a house and have children and live a simple life and blend in with 99.9% of every other person that has followed societies normal expectations. But is this really what I wanted? Did I want to work in a factory and make an ok living while being married to someone I loved but loved because she was what society dictated is a good wife but truly not really what I yearned for deep down. Did I want to come home to dinner on the table every night like my dad did and se my kids as an annoyance in life but had them out of a sense of duty? Did I want to look at my wife more as a fellow employee in life with the only goals was to be married, raise kids, retire and then die. Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with the above if this is all you wish for and you’re fulfilled by it. I could be perfectly happy like this, you know, being the normal couple of how society would see it. But let me ask you a question, how many times as a kid growing up did you dream of “normal” stuff.

Transitioning from Reality to Fantasy

Why can’t the fantasies become reality in everyday life? Why can’t we make what we most desire in life our “Normal”? WE CAN! All we have to do is make it happen! It’s our choice what we make as our normal in life and if you fail to make your fantasies your normal then the only person you have to blame is yourself.

Maybe I am way off base here in my thinking but I would imagine that all women want a man that is going to treat them like a Goddess in all ways. Yes, I had fantasies as a young boy of having a harem of beautiful women treating me like some God, waiting on me hand and foot with lots and lots of sex with all these beautiful women. I also had dreams of this powerful, confident sexy woman standing over me that controlled every aspect of my life and made me into her personal slave. For some reason the later took over and the dreams of multiple beautiful women worshipping me as a god slowly disappeared for me serving a beautiful sexy Goddess. Why did this happen? No clue. Maybe it was from my upbringing watching my mom whom I was very close to being treated like she was nothing more than someone to cook and clean and raise kids. I could see the hurt in her every day wanting more in life and never having it. She settled for the expectations of what society deemed normal. Growing up I promised myself that I would never treat a woman like that. I would respect them, love them, lift them up, if they would be willing to accept that, and treat my woman like a Goddess. I now have that special person in my life!

Making Fantasy of Goddess/slave a Reality

Well, I got the most difficult thing out of the way to make my fantasy a reality. I met my fantasy! I met the woman who I think is the most amazing, loving, sexy, beautiful creature that walks this earth! Now to see if her fantasy matches up with mine so we can make our  fantasy a reality.

After many long talks about what we both want in life it seems that they do match up pretty close! The one thing I asked for which she gladly agreed to was a formal contract between her and I as to what roles we will play from here on in our marriage.

It started out more as a Mistress/sub type agreement and we tried, and tried, and tried. With so many bullshit interruptions in life between drama, disagreements and family stuff we failed at making this reality. But along the way at least for me my idea of the arrangement has changed from past learning experiences from Mistress/sub to Mistress/slave to now the final wish and desire, Goddess/slave.

So here we are again with a newly revised contract attempting to make our fantasies our reality. I think she has also learned a lot over the past years of who she is as a woman and what she desires out of me as her slave. She loves and wants to be treated like a Goddess. She loves the attention. Like all women she wants the normal stuff such as the feeling of being loved, desired, and feeling beautiful. She hates all domestic chores and gladly now has me do all of them which I do willingly with pride because I know I am serving her and making her life better. She now makes all decisions for us and her decisions are final.

So far, we are on our way to making our fantasies a reality. We have a LONG ways to go and a lot to learn still but the great thing is we have never given up on OUR dreams of having this special relationship. If I had to put a number on it I would say we are 20% there. To me there is three aspects that in my opinion is the biggest hurdles we need to overcome to reach that 100%.

  • Societies view of Normal.
    • Living this way fulltime at first is really hard. Not because it if difficult as far as treating each other the way we desire but hiding it from vanilla people. It is often difficult at times for me to accept my role as her slave and her being the one in charge. According to society it should be reversed and going against that when she tells me what to do in front of other men they look at me like I don’t have a pair of balls. Then I’m sure women and men might perceive her as a bitch. Personally for me I don’t give a shit what others think of me but I know my Goddess is very sensitive to what others think of her.
    • Another thing is clothing. I have accepted my role 100% as her slave and her as my Goddess! I am not only her slave but also have pretty much assumed the role of what society would deem the “housewife”. One thing I desire is to feel her power and control over me and I want to feel always like her slave and housewife hence I love wearing some feminine clothing. To me, the clothing part is like if you had a radio with a poor signal and you hook up an antenna to it to get a stronger signal. That’s what the clothing does for me! it makes me feel more her slave and housewife. The clothing part doesn’t bother me, I actually have a very open mind and its just clothing but according to society its not normal.
    • Society Society Society! Normal Normal Normal! We all have to change and ACCEPT that if to be successful in a alternative lifestyle, the abnormal is a lot of times the NORMAL!

Acceptance of Roles and Responsibilities

Living this life is a lot different then what society expects in the vanilla life of a couple. The way we were raised also has a huge influence on accepting the roles. There are a lot of things as a Goddess my wife has to accept without any ill feelings towards herself and this can be the biggest hurdle a woman can have transitioning into the role of a Goddess. She has to go against societies norm the way most people’s idea of a great marriage or relationship should be like.

Goddess

  1. First and foremost she needs to change her whole way of thinking as far as relationships and most importantly understand and ACCEPT that this is what her husband/slave also wants and desires. She is the Goddess and he is the slave! She is superior in every way and he should view himself to be very lucky to just be with her and it is a gift from her to be able to serve her. (this I believe is the hardest, if they accept this the rest naturally fall into place.)
  2. She needs to understand this is fulltime and never part time. This is the new normal for the two of you! From here on abnormal is what society deems normal.
  3. She needs to accept her role as Goddess and start adopting the attitude and confidence of her new role
  4. She needs to start being selfish and put herself first
  5. She needs to accept the responsibility she is the one in charge and making the decisions from here on and her decisions are final
  6. She needs to accept that it is her duty from now on to hold him accountable for transgressions and firmly punish him when needed, its for his good to learn and be trained to be a better slave
  7. Although harsh in some ways she needs to start viewing her husband/slave equally also as a domestic tool, a tool to use and command clean her house, cook her dinners, do her laundry while she relaxes and enjoys life
  8. Sexually she needs to look at her husband/slave as nothing more than a sex toy, a sex toy there for her pleasure only while never reciprocating pleasure back to her slave

Slave

  1. He needs to accept everything is different now. She is superior in every way and his number one priority now is to serve her emotionally, sexually and domestically. Her happiness is his #1 priority while putting his aside.
  2. He needs to set his male ego aside with her and do as told and accept, she is the one in charge.
  3. He needs to be totally obedient to her 24/7 and accept this is no longer a 50/50 relationship. Its now 99/1 in her favor.
  4. He needs to understand this is fulltime and never part time. This is the new normal for the two of you! From here on abnormal is what society deems normal. His job is solely  to please and pleasure his Goddess is 24/7, not just when he wants to

On a personal note

Although I think the Goddess has more areas she needs to change as far as mindset I think the biggest and most difficult change is on the part of the male slave. For me, this is where I struggle the most. I love my wife/Goddess so much and think she is the most amazing, sexy woman alive and I DO sincerely desire to be under her control 100% and DO desire to be kneeling before her. It is such an amazing feeling that overcomes my whole being to be before her on my knees looking up at her. But because she is so kind hearted and is afraid of what I may feel or react in certain situations she fails to accept and embrace entirely my gift and desires to submit and worship her fully.

My Goddess has to not only accept her new role as the superior one in charge but also BELIEVE she is worthy of her slaves worship and serving.

Because it does go against what society has ingrained in us all of our lives, this I believe, is the hardest obstacle for her to overcome, but once she accepts this new persona everything should fall in line. Once she accepts this and believes that this is what her slave wants in life then only, and not until then, the fantasy becomes reality. Although she DOES say she wants this also, she has of yet to believe it 100%. She is trying and is half way there by accepting it but I think she struggles with the other half of actually believing it fully. Unfortunately I am human and at times get frustrated because to me its almost she either doesn’t believe me or trust me that this is also what I desire but I have no intensions of giving up on this because she is worth it all!

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”  

I believe whole heartedly we can do this and never intend of giving up and I have no doubt that together me and my Goddess can and WILL turn this life together that we desire from Fantasy to Reality!