We all have our certain ways we live and in my opinion if two people are in agreement on whatever lifestyle they choose , it is not for me to judge whether it’s right or wrong. As adults we all have the right to choose how we live and with whom and the best way in my opinion is to choose the lifestyle that best fits your personality and desires and works. We all have to understand what works for one person or couple might not be what works for the next person or couple.
Some couples choose to live the traditional roles of husband and wife where the man is in charge and the woman is the submissive partner who does all the domestic chores. Some people choose not to get married while some choose an alternative route.
Whatever lifestyle we all choose however I think the most important thing to remember is that we must all live it to the best of our capabilities. Life at times isn’t always great, there are plenty of pitfalls and challenges we are faced with however it’s rare that we are ever faced with something that with effort can’t be overcome.
I was fortunate in life that I met an amazing woman with a open mind that in my opinion has everything that I had put down on my mental checklist of qualities I desire in a woman to marry. She’s smart, sexy, beautiful inside and out, faithful, fun to be with and she desires to be the one in charge.
Although a lot of times we have desires and goals we are often held back from obtaining them out of fear, fear that we will fail, fear that we won’t meet our partners expectations, fear that it may be the wrong choice, fear how other people will react towards your decisions and desires.
First thing I think we ALL have to remember that is a FACT. We ALL should put ourselves #1 on the list of priorities in our lives. If you don’t you are just living life for other people rather than yourself and you will never obtain the level of happiness we are capable of.
When we are in a relationship we communicate with each other, we care for each other, and no matter what type of relationship or lifestyle we choose where it involves two people the one common desire we share is to make the other person happy.
So what if you are married or in a relationship with another person and you two choose to live an alternative lifestyle of any kind and most importantly your goals, desires, choices all match up and you agree on everything? What now? YOU LIVE IT!
I think the worst thing you can do in life is to deny living the way you want to out of fear for anything. Your cheating yourself, your partner, and frankly all the people in your life because until you obtain that lifestyle you so desire you will never obtain that level of happiness you so desire, therefore if your not the happiest you can be and feel fulfilled in life it will affect the way you interact with people in a negative way. You not only let yourself down but you also let your partner and those around you down.
For me and my wife we have talked in great length on how we would like to live our lives together and that’s where she will be the one in charge, the decision maker, the Goddess whom I have agreed to be under. I will serve and worship her as her slave. I will take on all domestic duties a wife typically does, I will respect her as my superior in charge and listen to all her request and carry them out faithfully without hesitation. She will have complete control over everything she chooses to in my life and she will also hold me accountable with corporal punishment when I fail to do as told.
This and a lot of other smaller details we have agreed upon. However, it isn’t just something you can wake up the next morning and just make that change instantly, it takes time, it takes patience, it takes trust. I know I lack in a lot areas where we have agreed upon just as she does, this is where you both ALWAYS have to remember one thing.
Happiness in a relationship is not one sided, one cannot live this lifestyle one sided, each parties feed off the others desires, wants and needs! If one lacks on there side the other is sure to lack on there’s also which in my opinion sets the agreement you have between each other for certain failure. So I say DARE! Dare to be that person you desire, if your submissive, dare to do everything your Dominant desires and more. Go out of your way and put extra effort into serving your Dominant. If your the Dominant dare! Dare to trust everything your submissive has communicated to you of thier desires, follow through with your agreement of taking responsibility for your submissive, train your submissive how YOU want them to act towards you in everyday life. Just as it is the submissives job to obey you and serve you it is equally important for you to guide and train them in a consistent way while holding them accountable for thier actions if so agreed upon. DARE TO BE YOU!
Dominate the submissive always, never letting them forget you are the one in charge. That is what they desire. This is the very foundation and the most important aspect of a D/s relationship. This is why you are labeled the Dominant! This is the persona you need to let out of yourself without holding back which brings me to the next subject…………
Acceptance. For the submissive accept your desires to serve your Dominant in the ways you have agreed upon. Accept that from now on the Dominant sword is the final word, accept you will now have a new set of rules to follow and you yourself will come second to your Dominant with the understanding by doing this you will receive back what you so desire hence putting yourself first only in a roundabout way.
For the Dominant Accept this person inside you who you have expressed you want to be. Don’t question your decisions or desires in regards to your submissive. Be the decision maker! Be the one that holds your submissive accountable for his actions. Be the strong person that you yourself envision and see in yourself and that person your sub sees your capable of being. Be the athoritive one, be the trainer, be the punisher, demand obedience and respect which again goes into my next category…………..
Respect. In general Above and beyond everything never forget the other person has feelings, desires, wishes, needs however different they are as important as your own and they are a person to, just like you. Remember always if you don’t show respect for your partner respect won’t be given by them either. Whatever you and your partner have agreed upon, follow through with it. Not following through with agreements and promises shows disrespect for the others needs, wants, desires.
As a Dominant respect the wishes, desires, and needs of your submissive. Sometimes you may not understand why they like or desire something but remember our brains don’t always match up in thought. Example (my Goddess gets pleasure out of spanking me and the pain it causes me. I don’t nderstand how she could get pleasure out of it because my brain doesn’t work that way however I accept it. I don’t think negative of her in any way because of it either, in fact I’m thankful for it because in my opinion it goes with the role of a Dominant role, if she didn’t derive pleasure in it, it would be impossible for her to hold me accountable for transgressions) Sometimes as long as it isn’t causing harm to anyone it’s just best to accept the person for who they are and go with the flow no matter how strange you may find thier quirks. I think the saying I have seen a lot is so true that submission is a gift. A sub would NEVER submit to someone they do not respect and trust fully in. It is out of that trus, respect and admiration that they do desire to submit to the Dominant. So if you have an agreement or a contract like me and my Goddess live up to it. Be respectful to your submissive and follow through with everything you have agreed upon. If you don’t it shows them two things, you don’t respect them and or you just don’t give a damn what they want.
As a sudmissive you are the one that has agreed to serve your Dominant in whatever caliber of service you have chosen. Respect that decision. Respect your Dominant as the superior one between you two. Respect that when they tell you to do something they are telling you to either be a cause they want something done and or it will be good for the both of you. Respect also shows trust, you have chosen them as your Dominant so show them the rightful respect and put your trust in that they will always make the decisions what’s best for you both, after all isn’t that why you picked the? You respect them, you trust them and you expect them to show you respect by enforcing what you have agreed upon which brings me to the last and final subject…………..
Enforcement. Dominant’s this one is solely for you. Your submissive and you have talked long and in depth into the details of your agreement hopefully. Unfortunately this is where you are solely responsible to enforce the rules. Yes it is the job of the submissive to accept and take on his role of the submissive and follow through with his end of the agreement however the Dominant is the higher power to make sure everything is followed and to enforce the agreement. Dominants, your subs expect this out of you also, when you fail to do this it is disrespectful in my opinion to not only yourself but the sub also. It gives the sub the impression you don’t care and when you do order him to do something he has a choice which pretty much overrides the whole agreement and the power exchange dynamics because are you really in charge then if your giving your sub the choice?
If corporal punishment is part of your agreements like ours then you need to follow through and enforce whatever punishments you have agreed upon. Unfortunately also and I am not saying this is right however I am human like every other sub and you dominants will be tested. We would lol purposely fail in following orders or completing task assigned just to see, just to see if you will follow through with your end of the agreement and catch it and punish us. I know though from me, once the real punishment is given to me a few times that bratty behavior would disappear and I would stop testing and start doing because I know I would be held accountable.
Remember dominants if this is something you and your sub has agreed upon you should not hold and hesitations or guilt in punishing your sub and ONLY stop the punishment when YOUR ready to stop no matter how much pain your sub is feeling and begs you to stop.
In circumstances where the two of you are not a “couple” who loves each other a safe word should always be used. In my case I have given my Dominant full authority to go until she is done even if it brings me to real tears and there is no safe word. Why you ask? Because of multiple reasons which are trust, my love and admiration for her, our friendship and her being my partner in life as my wife. Would I give that kind of leeway with anyone else, he’ll no!
So to sum t all up, if you and another have agreed to live a D/s alternative lifestyle and you have set parameters and rules DARE! Dominate, accept an embrace your new roles, respect each other as a person and thier desires, and enforce the agreement from both sides and I promise you, it will bring your relationship to new heights that you never imagined!!!